For most people seven hours of sleep each night seems adequate. In our society, sleeping is a waste of important time to do what? Play video games, stalk social media sites, perhaps exercise, work or go to school could hold far greater importance to sleep. I mean why even bother breathing or eating – it could be a waste of valuable time.
Ok I’m being a bit facetious here but I think you’re getting my point. My husband believes that anyone who doesn’t get up at the buttcrack of dawn is falling behind in life. I had to listen to this over and over for years. His work, located more than thirty minutes travel time, started early and required him to leave even earlier to arrive on time. He would be up and often rampaging throughout the house, angry that other people in the house were sleeping: lazy, not living up to their potential and so on.
He would poke fun at me for sleeping nine hours or so each night. He also commented on how I sat around eating bonbons. These were his ways of appearing to make humor out of something he didn’t understand or appreciate. Until he went into a sleep study for breathing issues he had been dealing with.
He went for an interview with a sleep doctor and asked me to go with him. The doctor reviewed his medical records and then began asking some questions. There were many but I remember a few vividly. How long have you had issues sleeping? What happens during the night? Do you go to bed and wake up at the same time? And the big one, how many hours do you sleep?
He answered the last one by saying seven hours but not always consistently sometimes less. As the doctor wrote his answer my husband added, “But not like HER, she sleeps like TEN hours!” The doctor whipped his gaze at me concern blanketing his features, “Is this true?” he asked. I answered, “Yes, sometimes nine.” He then questioned further with brow furrowed, “How long has this been going on?”
At this point time seemed to stop. It was one of those freeze frame moments where you are meant to remember and will recall it whenever necessary absolute clarity. I answered flatly, “since day one.” The doctor looked at me quizzically. I explained, “since my parents brought me home from the hospital.” See according to the stories (as all parents often tell their children in some dramatic fashion), my mother held a mirror under my nose to check my breathing because she’d woken up in the early hours of the morning after sleeping through much of the night without the cries of her newborn waking her as she had been warned about by so many. She panicked, woke my father up and together they checked me out. I was simply sleeping.
The doctor looking relieved replied, “Oh, you’re a long sleeper!”
My husband needed to pick his jaw off the floor as he asked, “That’s a thing?” The doctor assured him it indeed was a true thing. Some people just happened to require more sleep than others. Turned out my husband needed more sleep too – better sleep. He hadn’t been getting into REM sleep at all and stopped breathing about eighteen times an hour (this part was considered moderate – the REM sleep was an issue). They recommended a sleep apnea mask and life changed dramatically.
No longer did he insist I get up with him. He still believed that people wasted the day when they slept past 6am but since the doctor, someone of authority had stated it was actually healthy for me to sleep as long as I did. Mornings became quieter as he was getting better sleep and because of that he was calmer and well rested.
Now we get to me. I’ve always loved sleeping. My bed is probably my number one place to be. I’ve always had a large bed. When I was little my step-father’s grandfather had given me his bed frame before he passed away. I loved that man. There was a connection I felt with him even at the age of six. He also gave me a bookend of a little asian child reading a book. I’ve treasured that and the bed since.
The bedframe was an old-fashioned cast iron frame that made me feel like a princess high in her castle. It was so high off the floor I had to run and jump onto it. I’d gotten so skilled in those pre-track-and-field-high-jump days that I could run at the foot board, place my hands on it, jump up off the floor and flip completely feet over head onto the bed. Mom didn’t appreciate that but wow it was exhilarating! I’ve kept the bed since I was little and now my oldest has it in her room. I don’t think I’ll be getting it back as she loves it too.
Just after I graduated high school my mom agreed to get me a waterbed. Oh my heaven. I think this was about the time I started to develop the idea that Heaven did exist on Earth. This was a bed I never wanted to leave. With a TV in my room and the waterbed I was beyond content. My dog even got comfortable with it and would sleep in it with me. Only downfall was when she’d jump into bed at times the waves would roll me nearly out of it.
Years later when I went to move out, I emptied the bed but forgot to turn off the heater. Luckily the house didn’t burn down. I did manage to burn the base of the bed, carpet and part of the floor. I had to say goodbye to the bed forever.
The bed I have now is my sanctuary. It dips right where I sleep, because we turned it from where my husband slept to my side and now it dips on both sides. I can handle the dip (I’m refraining from referring to my husband here – giggle snort). I have a pillow I love even though it isn’t really a sleeping pillow but a throw pillow. I have my blankets which appeal to the tactile sensitive that resides inside me, one a soft plush milk chocolate brown and the other is a caramel faux fur. I had a black faux fur at one point and loved it so much. Now I have this one and it’s fantastic. The blinds in the room keep the light out (room darkening is a fantastic invention) and even keep some of the cold out in the winter.
This is where I meditate, self-love (full disclosure because it falls under self-care) and sleep. All things that are required for my soul to feel refreshed, re-energized and rejuvenated. There are other things that happen in that bed too. Reading, sex, discussions, clothes folding, spooning, puppy cuddles, you get the idea.
Each night I get settled for bed, after closing up the house, adjusting the thermostat, making sure the dogs have gone out one more time which they usually tag team – one goes out then comes in as the other pushes past to go out, saying goodnight to my children who are more like adults than children it seems, and then popping in my ear plugs. Yes, ear plugs. Even though my hubby is sleeping better, he still can be loud with his machine. He doesn’t realize he does it but every so often my husband likes to play his mask like it’s a brass instrument. I can still hear it through the plugs too.
Once I’m settled in, I click on my Kindle and begin reading until the first vestiges of sleep start to wash over me. I’ve learned to pay great attention to these sensations as it helps me avoid a split lip from the reader – I had to move to my iPhone because it doesn’t hurt as much as the actual Kindle or iPad when it hits my face.
Then comes sleep, ah blessed sleep. If I was smart and didn’t drink a lot of water before bed, I could make it through the night with getting up twice maximum. Other nights I feel like I’m going to outpace my friends on their fitness trackers with all the steps I take to and from the bathroom. I’m pretty sure my grandmother cursed me as a child. I never would go to the bathroom when she wanted me to so she’d say, “someday, you’re gonna regret holding your bladder!” Sure enough, it happened!
Even with all the trips around the bed, down the hall and into the bathroom and back again, I sleep just fine. Winter, I’m hibernating along with the bears. Summer, well, I keep it cold enough in the room so I can still snuggle deep in my covers. Sleep and I are friends, the best of (most of the time unless hormones are throwing a rager). Counting sheep doesn’t happen. I’ve never been a fan of math anyway. Sweet Dreams.
How long do you sleep? Is sleep important to you? Do you feel get enough? What are some of the things you do to make sure you get enough or even fall asleep?
